When They Won’t Change (and You’re Losing Your Mind About It)

What happens when we desperately want someone to change, and they simply won’t? It’s maddening, isn’t it? We twist ourselves into knots trying to reason, persuade, or “help them see the light.” But sooner or later, we discover the hard truth: we can’t change other people. Not partners, friends, parents, or colleagues. Not even (sadly) the person who leaves wet towels on the bed.

This inner tug-of-war can be exhausting, mentally and emotionally. It eats up headspace, fuels resentment, and steals our peace. But here’s the liberating bit: we wouldn’t want anyone to be able to change us just because they thought we should, would we? Autonomy is what makes each of us gloriously, frustratingly human.

The healthier questions become: Can I live with this? Does this person enrich my life? How can I manage my response differently? Sometimes that means setting boundaries, sometimes acceptance, and sometimes stepping back.

In therapy, we often work on shifting focus from changing them to understanding you, your triggers, your needs, your choices. That’s where your real power lives.

So take a breath. Let go of the battle. You’re not losing control, you’re reclaiming it.

🌼 Growth starts where control ends.

~ Jumbled Bean