When Women Are Told They Are Too Much

Female Rage, The Emotion Nobody Is Comfortable With

Female rage makes people uneasy. Not just men or systems of power, but women too. From an early age, many women learn that anger is dangerous, unattractive or inappropriate. A sad woman is acceptable. An anxious woman is understandable. An angry woman is often labelled difficult, dramatic or out of control.

Rage is frequently used against women. When a woman expresses anger, it is dismissed as too much, irrational or unhinged, even when there are very real and legitimate reasons for her emotions. Rather than asking what has happened to her, the focus shifts to how she is expressing it. The emotion becomes the problem, not the injustice behind it. Over time, many women learn to police themselves, to soften, shrink or silence their anger before anyone else has the chance to do it for them.

In therapy, female rage is not only allowed, it is welcomed. Anger is often the clearest expression that something was not right, that a boundary was crossed, that a wrong was done. It is not a character flaw, it is information. When women are finally able to express anger without being dismissed or corrected, there is often a deep sense of relief.

We work gently with rage in therapy. Not to encourage explosion or blame, but to understand its meaning and its message. When anger is met with compassion and curiosity, it becomes clarifying rather than destructive.

🌼 Anger does not make you too much. It often means too much has happened.