Defending the Defences

Defence mechanisms get a bad rap, but truthfully, they’re just clever psychological bodyguards. They step in when something feels too painful or threatening to face head-on. We all use them, yes, all of us (therapists included, though we like to pretend ours are “professionally managed”).

Defences can be helpful, a little denial gets us through the dentist, a bit of humour lightens the hard stuff. But over time, if we rely on them too much, they start running the show. Projection, repression, avoidance, rationalisation, they’re all ways of saying, “This is too much to deal with right now.” Fair enough… but those “not right nows” can quietly limit our growth and connection.

In therapy, we gently unmask these patterns, not to judge or shame, but to understand. Together, we explore why a certain defence shows up, what it’s protecting, and whether it’s still doing its job well. Often, what starts as self-protection becomes self-limitation, and awareness is the first step toward freedom.

So next time you catch yourself rationalising, avoiding, or cracking a joke when things get deep, pause. That’s your psyche saying, “I’m trying to keep you safe.” Then maybe ask: is there another way to be safe, and real, at the same time?

🌼 Awareness is the kindest defence of all.

~ Jumbled Bean