It's not about you

How someone treats you is a reflection of what’s going on inside of them. It’s not about you.

It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But believing it, I mean really living it, can take years of practice (and, if we’re honest, the occasional deep sigh and eye-roll). I was well into my own therapeutic journey before that truth began to land. Even now, I still have to remind myself not to react when someone’s behaviour stings.

Here’s the tricky bit: the reverse is also true. How you treat others says more about what’s happening inside you than it does about them. We all project our worries, defences, and insecurities onto the world, it’s part of being gloriously human.

In therapy, we look at these patterns together. We explore what gets triggered, why certain people push your buttons (and why those buttons exist in the first place). Over time, you start to respond with awareness instead of automatic reaction.

It’s deep work, but it’s freeing. You begin to realise that other people’s storms aren’t yours to stand in, and that your calm can stay intact, even when theirs isn’t.

🌼 Their weather, your umbrella.
~ Jumbled Bean