The Trouble with “Should”

Have you “should’d” yourself (or someone else) today? It’s such a tiny word, yet it wields enormous power. “I should be more productive.” “They should know better.” “I should go to the gym.” Sometimes should gives us a nudge in a healthy direction, a gentle reminder of our values or goals. But more often, it’s a sneaky little stick we use to beat ourselves (and others) with.

Where should sits in your life often says a lot about your self-esteem. If your inner dialogue is full of harsh shoulds, it might be running on guilt or fear rather than genuine motivation. The problem is, that critical voice rarely inspires lasting change, it just leaves us feeling not-enough.

In therapy, we often explore the “should system”, where it came from, whose voice it really is, and how it’s been shaping your choices. Together, we work on turning those “I shoulds” into “I coulds,” “I want tos,” or even “I choose not tos.”

So before you add another should to your list… pause, breathe, and just notice it. No need to fix it straight away (that’s another should!).

🌼 You’re doing just fine, no ‘should’ required.

~ Jumbled Bean